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humans are very interesting because no other creature has gone through years of evolution to be this stupid
sometimes a sloth’s metabolism can slow down so much it can starve to death with a full stomach
If ever you feel stupid, remember that one time my twin brother forgot my birthday.
yo gettin married at 22 sounds a lot like leavin a party at 9:30 pm
yeah but you get to leave the party with your favorite person on the planet, and take off all of your makeup, and put on your ugly comfortable clothes and make popcorn and curl up in your bed and watch a movie, and have sex and go to sleep, idk how that sounds like a bad thing.
And everyone else just wakes up alone and hungover.This is the best
have you ever not liked someone in a romantic way and everything is cool and all then they do something small like touch your shoulder or say something funny and you just kind of freeze and think
do you ever get in one of those moods where you’re like feeling okay but you’re really sad at the same time and you just want to talk to someone and make them hug you but you feel annoying so you kind of just sit there being really sad
if ur hair covers ur boobs u have mermaid hair and u are a mermaid i dont make the rules
the kid from the nanny mcphee movie is no longer a kid
i see no difference
I’ve never seen a grown man look so disturbingly like a small child.
i can’t wait to walk into school tomorrow and show people how much hotter i got over summer
but its winter
please don’t make me explain how seasons work in other countries
trying to argue with someone over text is like being italian and having to talk with handcuffs on
I see London I see France. Wow. they’re both 486 miles away from eachother. That’s a long way. I have great eyesight.
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